Delays...frustration

I am non-confrontational.
I am super patient.
I have waited for WEEKS for our Home Study dates.
I finally called last week.

I was told our case worker was on medical leave.  Never mind that they never called to notify me of this.  I was told I would have a new case worker.  Ok, no problem!  I called the new #, left my info & waited.  She finally called me back yesterday.

I was told our paper work had been sent to the wrong "County".  We are back to square one.
We have to play the waiting game all over again.  The Home Study company has 90 days to do our 3 Home Studies.  They will more than likely take all 90 days.  Which means we will not meet our October deadline.  Which means we will not get our little man in October.  Which means I'm dealing with a HUGE amount of emotions.

October Adoption Party was the day we were shooting for with our other case worker.  The next available "Adoption Party" (scroll down a few posts if you don't know what that is) isn't until January.

I'm ok with this on the surface.  But deep down, I really want to hit somebody VERY hard!  I am TIRED of waiting!  I have waited half my life for this...quite literally.  It took my precious husband our entire marriage to become ok w/ adoption.  If I'm completely honest with everyone reading this - I would really like to throw a toddler tantrum right in the middle of own living room right now.

I know God is in control.  I know He has the best in store for my family.  I know that NOTHING enters our lives that hasn't first been gently sifted through His loving hands.  I KNOW!!!  But knowing doesn't take away the searing pain.  It doesn't comfort the little boy I long to protect.
It doesn't keep him safe at night & fill his belly during the day!

Just so you know, I'm totally checking out for awhile...