Hitting the Pause Button

I am a terrible blogger, which would make you think I am an AWESOME mommy during Christmas Break {She's not blogging, she MUST be doing fun stuff w/ her kids!!!}...but really, I am content if I have laundry done & kids fed most days. Sorry if that disappoints you.

I know some of you picture me having the kids sitting around in a circle singing Kumbaya first thing in the morning, followed by age appropriate crafts w/ each of them, and then fixing them lunches that resemble something off Pinterest, all while wearing perfect makeup and smiling.

Reality is, if I don't have a photo shoot that day, I'm probably still wearing pajamas when Matt walks in the door. The only sunshine I get (IF the sun is even out) is when I step out back for a breather to keep from raising my voice at the kids.

My kids have been sick off & on most of December, and I think I have only been to church once this entire month. There was one week that I was home all day EVERY day for a full 7 days. Matt kept insisting he could run to the store for me and I thought I was going to start crying when I demanded that I go because I hadn't stepped out of the house in 7 days.  Poor guy, he didn't sign up for this hot mess of a wife!

Life is good. It is full. There is joy in the midst of the chaos. There are toddler giggles, teen fits of laughter, singing, silly dancing, movie DAYS, treats and just overall happiness. But it isn't how I imagined it would be. There are battles we are fighting. It's like slaying dragons I never even imagined would taunt our family. MY family.

Some days, the force of it all almost takes my breath away. I am more emotional than ever before in my life...not like psycho lady emotional, but like weepy-what-the-heck-was-I-thinking-lady. It hit me a couple of months ago. And I can't seem to shake it.  Wait, maybe that DOES make me Psycho Lady?

So all this to say...we are hitting the pause button on adding additional children to our family right now. I've had a few people ask me. I love their curiosity. I am thankful I have made the topic THAT approachable. We do want another child. A chocolate skinned one, hopefully.

But first, we need to help our kiddos continue to heal.

And Mommy needs to figure out how to handle this load. OR get on hormone replacement. Or something...

You know how one of the moms from back in the day (can't remember who, but she had a boat load of children & one of those kids ended up becoming a VIP) used to hide under the table to have her Quiet Times? Well, I wish I had more of her desire to be creative in finding ways to spend time w/ the Lord. And I think that is where my main problem is. I am so spent after each day from just trying to meet the daily needs of this precious family, that I have forgotten to make time for Jesus.

Would humbly appreciate your prayers.

Wordless Wednesday | Personal | Adoption

Amy Belle's Gotcha Day
Wordless Wednesday

Photography by Michelle Leach of Magnolia Adams Photography

Blog post coming later this week.

And if you're finding this Wordless Wednesday through a link, just want you to know that I shoot adoptions too! :)  Happy Wednesday!

Dearest Sunshine Girl

Dearest Sunshine Girl,
     Tomorrow you become a Morrow. If someone had told me at the beginning of this year that I would be adopting a 16 year old...I would have laughed at the silliness of that statement.  Now, if anyone were to question why I was adopting a 16 year old, I would probably punch them in the nose.
     You were born into unfair circumstances. But you WERE BORN.  You didn't have the best start in life.  But you have made the most out of your young life. You are a fierce fighter. A mighty warrior princess. At times you have had to kick & scream to be heard. But God has heard your cries. YOU.ARE.A.SURVIVOR and I stand in awe of how the Lord has brought you into our family and molded you perfectly to fit into our family.
      We are SO excited for you to officially have our last name. So excited to no longer have to explain to receptionists that you're my Foster Daughter when they ask what our relation is. So excited to no longer have to blob your face out of pictures on Facebook and the blog. So excited that tomorrow, on the day that we celebrate your 16th Birthday, the day you were born, we will also be celebrating the day you are being born into our family and becoming a Morrow.
     Love you precious girl!  See you in the morning!  :)

Wordless Wednesday | Noah's Adoption | Personal

Wordless Wednesday

Noah's Gotcha Day

Photography by: Michelle Leach of Magnolia Adams Photography

*Sunshine Girl's face is blurred because DHS won't allow us to post her face until we adopt her*

Redemption! | Personal | Wordless Wednesday

Tiny's Birthday

The boys are napping and my husband just left w/ our daughters. They are going to the Health Food Center, and to pick up raw milk from our Dairy Farmer in Blanchard.  In this family, daddy does the grocery shopping and momma catches up on editing while he's gone!  This, by the way, is one of the main reasons he's a Superman to momma. This momma ABHORS grocery shopping!!!  I actually had a panic attack once because I was so overwhelmed with all the groceries, smells & people. Dead serious. I called my mom in the midst of my freak out mode. She said the same thing has happened to her before and so MY DAD does her shopping.
Creative people are weird ya'll. Just weird.

Today has been a very special day in our family. Our "Tiny's" First Birthday is today.  Matt's parents and his brother and his family joined in the celebration. Kimber, just so happens to be one of my dearest friends and we haven't had time to hang out in months, so it was just a blessing in that respect too! Also we rarely get to see Matt's parents out of church so it was a blessing to see them loving on our crew. Family is a blessing. Too often, we take them for granted.

Where was I? Oh yes, Tiny's First Birthday!!!
I am forever going to be indebted to all of our foster and adopted children's biological moms. They chose to give them life. They could have chosen the other alternative and most of America would've been okay w/that too. Tiny's mom chose life. And she chose to give up her rights and requested we become his forever family. And because of that, baby boy #2 is now a part of our family. And because of that, she has been on my mind all day today.  What does a biological mom do on each of her children's birthdays? I know she remembers his birthday. I know she remembers the pangs of her womb as she labored for hours to give him life. I know she remembers. And I hurt for her, because rather than she being the one celebrating with him today, it's the Morrows.

Foster Care and Adoption is a web of beauty and pain, loss and redemption. We're only 3 years into it...my boys haven't started asking the hard questions yet. But when they do, I hope and pray that I can lovingly help them honor their birth parents for the fact that they chose to give them life. Our Sunshine Girl has been through a lot. She rarely mentions her family. But today she has. Because birthdays are meant to be celebrated with family. This is hard ya'll. This new "us" is so confusing at times, even to me and I'm an adult. We just ask that you please pray for us as we navigate the beautiful messiness of adoption.

Tiny's Mom, if you have somehow stumbled upon this blog. Please know that Tiny and I (we were the first ones up!) prayed out loud for you and we thanked Jesus for you this morning. Thank you for giving him the gift of life. You are a super woman to us! And we asked Jesus to draw you close to Him so He could give you such an awesome future, that you can't even imagine right now.  Your son is beautiful and joyful. He took his first steps about 2 weeks ago. He's walking now. He loves to play with Josiah and daddy the most. He loves food. Not picky at all. And he enjoys hearing his own voice. He met his full brother about a month ago. They look EXACTLY alike. I promise to keep him in contact with all his siblings. Thank you for the gift of G.E.H. Love, Mary

Sunshine Girl's Paper on Nomads and Foster Care

Sunshine Girl has been studying Nomads and was assigned a paper. She couldn't think of how to write it so she did a little twist on it and compared it to Foster Care.  She's given me permission to post this. She would love to hear your thoughts.  Thanks!

Living like a Nomad

When I was a foster child I was like a Nomad. I always traveled alone like some Nomads did.  I've always traveled from place to place like Nomads did too. The word nomad means “one who wanders for pasture”. For me wandering for pasture means wandering for a home.

It was never fun moving all the time. It was always like “been there done that” all the time. Nomads look for the perfect place for their herd. Like me I've always have been looking for the perfect place for myself.  

For me and the world it's been like a journey and I think I can speak for Nomads also. Even though when I was in foster care and I was always looking for a place, I never gave up. But a lot of times I felt like giving up. I don't really know if Nomads ever gave up or even felt like giving up but I believe that they did not give up on finding a place. 

Because they always look for that one place for their herd. And that one place to call home. I don't know if you ever felt like this but when you're moving it doesn't just stop, it keeps going on and on. And it always seems like forever is never going to quit. 

Some morning's I would wake up and dream that I was at the place where I always dreamed of in my head, then I would go out of the room and it was a natural disaster. I wander if that's how Nomads ever felt? I've never had some one to say “I love you” to me at night and in the morning or even during the day. And I bet you $10,000 that the Nomads that traveled alone, like me, didn’t have anyone to do that to them also.

In school I always felt like a loner. Never getting any attention, never getting that one teacher to help me properly. I bet the nomads felt like loner's too. Now that I see how much Nomads are like me I guess you can call us “God's special one's”.

I can't believe it but I actually found that one place for me though. I'm sure that at least some Nomads got to find that one place for their herds. If not I just wish that they could have. It would have been wonderful.

It was wonderful for me to find out that I have a family interested in me. And that they wanted me to be part of their family. In conclusion, Nomads and foster care children will always have at least one thing in common with each other - not having a home to settle down in, or anything.

You will never been alone because God always has a plan for you.