Thursday, January 26, 2012

More of our Story

It's late.
I can't sleep.
It may be due to the freight train over worked, exhausted, only-averages-5 hours-of-sleep-per-night husband.
It may just be that so much has been going on.
And yet not much has been going on.

Let me back up...

Last Monday, I signed onto Matt & I's joint FB acct.
I had a private message from an old friend.
She was given the name of a birth mom, with the request of helping her find an adoptive family.
She said the Lord laid our family on her heart.
She messaged me late Friday night.
I didn't get the message until late Monday evening because I hadn't been on FB.
I called Friend that same night.
Birth mom was expecting a boy.
Next month.
"HOLY COW is this really happening?" was what was going through my mind.  Matt was away, so I hadn't even gotten to share the news with him.  Mind you, DHS was our plan all along for adoption.  Not a Private Adoption with a precious birth mom!

Friend gave me birth mom's number.

Matt arrived.  I shared the news with him.  We were both ecstatic!  We knelt down & prayed to Father.  Gave it all to Him.  Asked Him to guide us.  Thanked Him for this wonderful, wonderful gift.  My whole body quivered from excitement.  ALL NIGHT LONG!

I got in touch with birth mom the next day, Tuesday.
She is precious!  I immediately fell in love with her.
She loves her baby so much and wants only THE BEST for him.
We scheduled a face to face meeting for Wednesday.

"HOLY COW is this really happening?"

Remember, we'd been planning DHS all along.  They cover most of the costs & do all the hard stuff for us.  So Matt & I had to scramble to figure out what we would need to do to be prepared for a Private Adoption by next month when baby boy is born.

We texted & emailed our Prayer Warriors to kick it into high gear for us.
We prayed with almost every breath we took for Father to continue to give us the answers we needed and to make things perfectly clear for us.

We made a ridiculous amount of phone calls to important people who knew people.
We got in touch with a friend of a friend who very recently did a Private Adoption so she could run me through the process.
We got in touch with 2 attorneys.
We crunched numbers to see how much money we would need to beg Father for.

And then I got a text.
She was ill & rescheduled for the next evening.

So I called her the next afternoon to see how she was feeling & to get her address.
Then she didn't respond to my phone calls or texts.

And hasn't responded since...

And I still love her.
And her baby.
And I'm shaking as I'm writing this because I don't know how this story ends.
And I know I shouldn't worry.
But how do you not worry when a young woman needs a home for her unborn child and voices that to you and then doesn't respond to your outreach?
I do NOT know how to NOT worry about this situation.

Matt isn't worried.
He so calmly says "God's in control."
And sometimes I believe it with my whole being.
And sometimes I just want her to call me, and then I'll be okay.

I was great all weekend long.  I threw myself into praying.  And it strengthened me.
But this week has been hectic on my emotions!

Yes, DHS seems to be moving things along finally.
And no, I NEVER imagined the Lord would bring us a newborn.
But after speaking with her.
It's all I've imagined.
A precious little bundle of newness all sweet & snugly being handed to us, by his momma, who loves him so much that she's chosen US to take care of him for her.

So there you have it, more of our story... just hadn't felt comfortable sharing it until now.
And if you'd like to criticize my lack of faith, don't.
I know I'm lacking in that department, otherwise I'd be as peaceful as I was this past weekend.  :)
But if you'd like to encourage me.
I would love that more than you know!

7 comments:

  1. Oh sweet Mary. I know this journey is a hard and trying one for your heart. But God has a plan and he is preparing you for the journey even through all these stumbling blocks. He already knows the sweet face he wants to add to your already wonderful family. So take a breath, be still, and know that it will all be okay. God is a wonderful God and he has this situation under control. He knows a child that needs your loving home and he's goin to deliver. You just wait and see. And the waiting will all be worth it.

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  2. Thank u Denisa.
    Being still is hard... but you're right.
    Nuthin' I do will speed this process up. :/
    He's slowly putting all the puzzle pieces right where they belong while I'm spazzing out trying to hurry Him along.
    Nice.
    Real nice Mary!

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  3. I love you Mary Morrow! And I love your honesty because we have all been in "hard to not worry" places.

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  4. Not sure where I heard or read this but "If you want to make God laugh, make a plan" ... I remind myself of this often when MY plans don't work out the way I think they should.
    Lack of faith? HARDLY! You are human and are having human emotions. I continue to pray for you and your family. I'll add the birth mom to my prayers as well. Maybe she is scared. I hope that she will reach out to you, or at the very least, to someone.

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  5. Laura- thank you for grace!
    Kristin - LOL, I LOVE that! And thank you!

    FYI - Birth Mom contacted me today. More on that for a later day.

    You girls ROCK!

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  6. Love you Mary. Love the honesty in your heart and be willingly to share that with us. Your lack of faith...I think NOT. You and your family are an amazing family and God has His hand and plan in this whole ordeal.

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  7. Thank you sweetie! You are precious!

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