The difficulty in the wait...| Dear baby boy

My dear baby boy,
We thought you'd be here by now, but since you're not, I wanted to let you know that we are eagerly anticipating your arrival!  This momma misses you dearly, especially as Christmas Day approaches.
The Christmas Tree looks lovely, but it's missing your first ornament.  I didn't even set out the Little People Nativity, because I wanted it to be extra special next year, when you can enjoy it!  :)
Daddy & Momma debated on not sending out Christmas Cards this year because you wouldn't be in the picture, even though you ARE a part of our family.  We decided to just send a card with your sisters picture on it to our closest friends & family.  Next year we'll have our complete family on our cards and we'll send them to everyone.  I may even make the time to write a Christmas Letter... the thought of that makes me happy!  The reality is that the cards probably won't get sent out until Valentines Day because I'll have my hands full with you!  :)  (that thought makes me even happier!)

Momma wants you to know that there are a few little boys at our new church that are going to love having you around!  I watch them play on Sunday mornings and just smile at the thought of you joining them in the fun some day!  Just please don't clobber them... Momma is still working hard at making new friends there!  :)  If you do clobber them, I'll help you learn to run really fast  say you're sorry!

One of the things I'm most eager for you to experience is Family Worship.  Daddy leads us in Family Worship in the evenings.  We sing songs and read & study the bible.  Sometimes we do Catechism.  Other nights we read a book together.  We pray specifically for you.  Such sweet, special memories that momma is treasuring in her heart.  It will be such a blessing the first evening that you're in the living room with us and we get to pray over you instead of just praying for you.

Your sisters baked fudge last week and peanut butter balls this week.  We missed you squirming in our arms making the baking more challenging!  I thought of you the whole time...

Tonight we will begin reading a Christmas book that we've read to your sisters every year, it's called Cosmic Christmas.  I think you'll enjoy it when you're a little older :).

Momma loves you so much!  Daddy does too!  Gabi, Sara and Emma are having a pretty difficult time waiting for you.  We notice little boy toys at the store now and we want to buy all of them for you!  :)  Several of our friends are anxiously awaiting your arrival too!  One friend gave you her little boy's entire wardrobe.  You are gonna look mighty spiffy little man!  She also gave you a Christmas present.  I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but it lights up and makes noise.  :)  We'll give it to you the very first day you're here, I promise!

We're praying for your birth momma too.  We know she's having a hard time with all of this as well.   We pray for God's grace to draw her to Him.  We pray for her to have peace in knowing that we will love you fiercely, protectively and safely.  We promise to always speak honestly to you about her boldness to love you enough to place you in a safer home.  She will always have a special place in our hearts, no matter what her circumstances are, because without her, we wouldn't have YOU.

You are loved dear one.  So generously and tenderly loved!  You were planned from the very beginning of time.  "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeramiah 29:11

So you see sweet one, even though you're not in our arms, you're in our hearts and constantly on our minds.

Love you to the moon and back,
Momma

Help this family?

If your family loves to bless others, please pray about helping this family out:

http://newhornerfamily.blogspot.com/2011/12/9-days-till-christmas.html

Dreams

Dear Baby J,
I have been dreaming of you quite a lot lately baby boy.
Dreams that only another adoptive momma could ever relate to...
I haven't even met you (I don't think) but I miss you so bad it hurts.

We pray for you every day.
The girls are anxious to meet you.
Especially Emma, she thinks you're going to be her best friend and funnest play mate.

We can't wait to teach you all about this beautiful world we live in.
We can't wait to see how your personality blossoms in the safety of our home and the cocoon of our family.

I just wanted you to know that.
I love you,
Your forever momma  :)

Home Study Update...

We had our 2nd Home Study Nov. 9th.  Once again, Mona, our Agent, was awesome!
She asked Matt all the personal questions she asked me the previous time.  It took about 2 hours.  Now we're just waiting on her to call our References and to write up our "Home Study". After this, we'll just be waiting on DHS to finish their end of everything.

We are continuing to wait and trust on Father.  After all, He's known all along this is the way things would go.  He's known from before the beginning of time WHO our little boy is.  We've chosen to surrender to His will and wait patiently on His perfect timing.  (It's easier this way...trust me!)  :)

Just wanted to give ya'll that little update.  If you are going through this process as well and have specific questions, please feel free to email us, we would love to chat w/ you over coffee! Adoption is such a beautiful, wonderful blessing!  We just don't want to get too personal on a public blog because we don't know who's reading  :).

Also, I wanted to share with ya'll a family in need of Adoption funds.  If your family usually gives to a family(ies) for Christmas, might you consider contributing to this family during this Holiday Season?
http://newhornerfamily.blogspot.com/2011/11/to-save-life-make-that-2.html

Thank you for grace.
Thank you for prayers.

Much love,
The Morrows

Update & Generosity

Things are going along wonderfully for us!  The LORD is moving, even when we can't see what He's up to!  I'll have a nice, big, juicy update in a month or so, I'm sure of it!  :)

We know that He knows our son by name. {Before I formed you, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart..." Jeramiah 1:5}  And we know He is moving mountains to bring him home to us!   {I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20}

If you have specific questions, feel free to email us and either Matt or I will get back to you ASAP!

We do have some friends that have financial needs w/ their adoptions.
If the Lord has called you to help w/ donations, please visit these 2 blogs and click on their Donate buttons on the right-hand side.
{A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25}


Go here to help our dear friends The Leinens: http://jleinen.blogspot.com/

And here: http://newhornerfamily.blogspot.com/ - I just found this blog last week thanks to my friend Kari.  They own The Cupcake Lounge in Moore.

Love you guys,
The Morrows

Be still

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; 

                                I will be exalted among the nations,   

 I will be exalted in the earth.”

            

Psalm 46:10

Home Study paperwork!!!

We received our Home Study paperwork in the mail early this evening!
The paperwork says I'm to call them tomorrow to get everything scheduled.

We praise you for working things out for us and for allowing us to begin seeing the fruit of our prayers dear Jesus!  We love You!

• Please pray that we're able to produce all the information needed, quickly!
• Please pray for favor with "Mona" our HS contractor.

Fingerprints, take 3!

We were told last Thursday that our fingerprints were rejected, again.
*insert naughty words & lots of tears!!!*

Our Adoption Specialist told us we would now have to go to the OSBI to get fingerprinted by the FBI... WAHOOO, I was excited cause I knew the FBI wouldn't screw up, right?  She said we had to wait until we received our new fingerprint cards.

We received our new fingerprint cards on Saturday.

We went to the OSBI today.

The FBI guy that helped us said the prints looked really good!


Now we wait to make sure DHS agrees w/ them.  I ran to the Post Office super fast after
we were printed to mail them off, BUT today was Columbus Day, aka, PO is closed!
So we'll mail them off tomorrow!

Remaining hopeful that God is doing beautiful things behind the scenes,
Momma bear

Update 10.05.11

I promised myself, at the beginning of this adventure, to be as honest as possible on the Blog.
So for the record, I think we have turned a corner:
I called our Case Worker 3 times yesterday about something pretty neat, nerve wrecking, exciting, heart breaking, frustrating, exhilarating... and a host of other emotions and my sweet Case Worker answered ALL 3 times!!!

She was very understanding and calming.  I've decided that whatever happened in the past is staying in the past.  She's my Case Worker & we're on the same team!  ☺

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
      Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
   I will strengthen you and help you.
      I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
                - Isaiah 41:10

Adoption Workshop #4 & updates

I forgot to blog about Adoption Workshop #4.
Sorry!
I can't even remember what it was about... see how informative those things are?!?!

We have one last workshop to make up, because we missed our last one due to going on Vacation.
And we have homework to get caught up on... because we have to turn it all in when we attend the last workshop.

No biggie.  It'll all get done in time!

I wanted to let ya'll know that our new social worker called me.  She told me I was given the wrong phone #.  She hadn't received any of my phone calls (why didn't the other social worker whose # I called pass along my messages?) She didn't mention anything about the emails I sent her even tho I have her correct email address...  But regardless, things are supposedly moving along "quite nicely" now.
We're supposed to get our first Home Study date "any day now" (as of 1.5 weeks ago).  :)
Can you sense my sarcasm?

A girl can be patient for so long... and then, she starts turning into momma bear...
And this momma is almost at that breaking point!

Adoption Workshop #3

We had our 3rd Adoption Workshop yesterday.
The first 3 hours was on "Siblings"...  and the importance of keeping siblings together.
It brought awareness to those of us who may be able to bring in more than 1 child, but who are greedy w/ our time/resources to only take 1 child in.  It was incredibly informative.  I think I'll take in an additional 5 children!  :D
The second 3 hours was on Discipline vs. Punishment.  It made for some good giggles to say the least... some people sure are interesting!


We have 1 {7 hour session} left and 1 {3 hour session} to end the workshops.

We still haven't received our Home Study dates.  We cannot move onto the next step without our 3 completed Home Studies.  It's becoming a little frustrating.
In addition, I put in a phone call to DHS to change our Adoption Social Worker because she never returns my phone calls or emails.  NEVER.  I have no clue what's going on...
Also, this past Tuesday we redid our Fingerprints.  It'll be about 6 weeks before we find out if they're "acceptable".

If you're wonderin' how you can pray for us...

• for a good conversation from DHS to give us factual, precise information with what's going on & what dates we're looking at for the next Adoption Party.
• for some decisions we're making regarding our home & the addition of a 4th child
• for our finances 

How can we pray for you?


A big Thank YOU to the Morrows for babysitting our 3 babies for us yesterday while we attended the workshop!  You guys are such a blessing!

Fingerprints Rejected...

And the trials continue...

Both sets of our fingerprints were rejected.

Which means we have to go have them redone.

It takes 6 weeks to process them before we can find out

if the next set is accepted or not.

All the obstacles we're going through are beginning to make for good laughs!
Someone's trying to trip us up, but we're keeping our happy faces on!!!


Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”


Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 

Adoption Workshop #2

We attended an Adoption Workshop again today.
It was hard for me to sit through.
The first 3 hours of Workshop topics were on all the different forms of child abuse
that children under DHS custody experience.
I almost threw up several times.
Our son may experience abuse himself.
It made me mad, to say the least.

The second 3 hours were on loss and grief.

It was a hard Workshop day.

4 Workshops left...

A special "Thank YOU" to the Leinens for watching our daughters for 8 hours.
Love you guys!

Adoption Workshop #1

We attended our first Adoption Workshop today.
Well, technically it was Workshops #1 & #2.
It was 7 hours long.
We have 5 Saturdays left.
It wasn't fun.
But it wasn't terrible.
There were interesting people there...
People that I don't think should be taking children into their home.
I know that sounds judgmental... I guess you just had to be there.

There were also some genuinely precious people there.

Today was mainly about the Foster program.
Most of the people there were there to Foster kids.

I wish they had separate Workshops for families that are only interested in Adopting.  But they don't.

Like I said, it wasn't terrible.
At least not for me.
Matt had a massive toothache.
He's so AMAZING for still wanting to go w/ me even though his mouth was throbbing the entire time we were there!!!
Our friend Sid Johnson met us at his new dentist office immediately afterwards and performed an emergency root canal.  :(
He's feeling MUCH better now!

And so am I because...

We are 1 week closer to our Adoption!
Thank YOU Jesus!!!

A special "Thank You" to the Northams for watching our daughters for 10 straight hours!
Love you guys!

Delays...frustration

I am non-confrontational.
I am super patient.
I have waited for WEEKS for our Home Study dates.
I finally called last week.

I was told our case worker was on medical leave.  Never mind that they never called to notify me of this.  I was told I would have a new case worker.  Ok, no problem!  I called the new #, left my info & waited.  She finally called me back yesterday.

I was told our paper work had been sent to the wrong "County".  We are back to square one.
We have to play the waiting game all over again.  The Home Study company has 90 days to do our 3 Home Studies.  They will more than likely take all 90 days.  Which means we will not meet our October deadline.  Which means we will not get our little man in October.  Which means I'm dealing with a HUGE amount of emotions.

October Adoption Party was the day we were shooting for with our other case worker.  The next available "Adoption Party" (scroll down a few posts if you don't know what that is) isn't until January.

I'm ok with this on the surface.  But deep down, I really want to hit somebody VERY hard!  I am TIRED of waiting!  I have waited half my life for this...quite literally.  It took my precious husband our entire marriage to become ok w/ adoption.  If I'm completely honest with everyone reading this - I would really like to throw a toddler tantrum right in the middle of own living room right now.

I know God is in control.  I know He has the best in store for my family.  I know that NOTHING enters our lives that hasn't first been gently sifted through His loving hands.  I KNOW!!!  But knowing doesn't take away the searing pain.  It doesn't comfort the little boy I long to protect.
It doesn't keep him safe at night & fill his belly during the day!

Just so you know, I'm totally checking out for awhile...

Dear Little Man

Dear Little Man,
My heart aches for you.  Are you safe?  Have you eaten today?
You're always on my mind, but especially today... and all I can do is trust that Father
is watching over you until the day I'm able to.
I just wanted to let you know I love you and I'm praying for you.


Love,
Your Forever Momma

Redecorating Bedroom | Gender Neutral

While we're on the topic of redecorating... Here's the current look of Emma's Room:

She will be sharing w/ Baby Brother.  Please feel free to give me your ideas for this room as well!
For those that have a Pinterest account, here's kinda the "feel" we like right now:
http://pinterest.com/marymorrowokc/ideas-for-emma-s-and-baby-brother-s-room/

Redecorating Bathroom | Gender Neutral

I LOVE hot pink.  My 2 younger girls LOVE pink.  My eldest daughter LOVES BLUE!  Ha, you thought I was gonna say pink, huh?

So as we anticipate the arrival of our precious boy, the thought of redecorating has become not only a "want", but a need.  I don't believe it will be okay for our son to be immersed in an only "pink" home.  You may disagree, and that's okay, just keep those thoughts to yourself :).

So I've started with their bathroom.  It used to be ONLY pink (hot pinks, light pinks, salmon pinks - polka dot theme), if you can imagine this, w/ hints of white here & there.  It still has A LOT of pink.  But we LOVE pink.  I don't want to rid the bathroom of pink.  I mean, hello, I have daughters.  Pink is A-OK in their bathroom!

But how do we incorporate this and still make it Gender Neutral?

Here's my first attempt, but it still feels too girlie to me:

Can someone give a girl a hand?
Any ideas or links would be GREATLY appreciated!
Thanks everyone :).

Video by Eric Ludy

Depraved Indifference

House Assessment

We had our House Assessment this past Wednesday.  I haven't had 2 seconds of free time to blog about it but it went GREAT!  Really, really great!
Of course, I'm an optimist and this is something you should know right off the bat!  :)

The girls and I cleaned the house for about 5 hours on Wednesday.  It was pretty stinkin' spotless!  I  made a list for each of them of things they could do w/out my help while I tackled all the harder stuff.  Ex: Emma - Sort, fold & put away your clean laundry.  Pick up your toys.  Put the toys where they belong.  Help your sisters organize the game shelf.

Our sweet DHS lady, Mrs. Teresa arrived almost right on time.
She was precious beyond words and I immediately liked her!

She was at our home for exactly 1 hour.

She answered my questions before I even asked them... how thorough is that?

We should be receiving our finger print cards within 2 weeks.  We have to get that taken care of asap.

We also have to get scheduled for our DHS adoption classes.  They're 7 hours long each time and we have to go to 4 classes and then there's a 5th class that's only 3 hours long.  I have to call to get that scheduled tomorrow.  We've been warned that since we're already parents... and believing parents at that, the classes are pretty much going to be simply "jumping through hoops".  But I'm willing to do just about anything to bring my little boy home so we're going to jump through hoops!  :)

Also our Home Study will begin within the next 3-4 weeks.  We will have 3 different Home Study meetings.  The Home Study people have 3 months to get us "completed".  Mrs. Teresa said that would put us at the end of September w/ finalizing our Home Study.

Then our exciting day will arrive here!  It's called an Adoption Party.  It's in October.  The thought of it makes me sad.  It's basically a lot of DHS children waiting to be adopted within the OKC area & the families interested in adopting them.  I know I'm going to want to tuck several of them into my purse, but Matt has made it pretty clear that we are "starting w/ only 1 adopted child".

The Adoption Party will be a carnival theme with balloons, popcorn machines, inflatables and clowns.  Our girls are encouraged to go w/ us, but they hate clowns so prayers in this area would be much appreciated!  At the party, we will get to meet several little boys who are a good match for us according to a form we filled out at the beginning of this adoption process.  What Mrs. Teresa said is that we are to let her know who we feel a strong connection with and they will arrange a weekend sleep over as soon as we're ready.

I almost started crying right there and then when she said that!  October.  We will more than likely meet our son in October!

And we've found out that this adoption is going to cost us nearly nothing at all.  The State covers most of our fees.
So if anyone is even "sorta" considering adoption, you should definitely at least get your paperwork started, it won't hurt anything at all and who knows, you may be able to provide a safe, loving home for a child who desperately wants/needs one.

Also, we thought we should let ya'll know that we've changed our paperwork for a little boy, 4 years old and "younger".  Before, it was a little boy between the age of 2-4.  We have opened our options to take in a child under the age of 2 and would really LOVE it if he were under 2.  Please help us pray about that?

So now that you have been assured our adoption will not cost us much out of pocket money, I want to share a friend's blog with you who's adoption IS costing them a little fortune.  First, they were adopting from Ethiopia and made quite a large investment with the Ethiopian agency they were using.  Then they found out that Ethiopia was closing their doors on adoptions.  And they lost that money.  Now they are adopting from Congo.  They could really use help in raising their adoption funds.  Every little bit helps.
If you don't mind, could you mosey on over to their blog and get in touch w/ them if you'd like to help them bring their son home?  Thank you so much!

Love,
The Morrows

DHS phone call

DHS called me this afternoon.
My heart leaped when our oldest daughter called out "It's DHS".  I've been prayerfully & patiently waiting for this phone call for 3 weeks!
We now have our House Assessment date set for June 8th.
This is an important date.
This is when they (DHS) decide if our home is large enough to house another kiddo.
It is.  :)
They will also go over all the details that they're vague about over the phone.
And from there we will get our Home Study date set.

Please pray for our June 8th appointment.

Love,
The Morrows

Romans 12:12 
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

From there to here...

I've had a passion for adoption since I was a teenager.
Matt, not so much.  :)
We listened to a sermon by Voddie Baucham about adoption a few months ago.
And the Lord started stirring Matt's heart.
And I got seriously excited!
And we prayed.
And we fasted.
And we prayed some more.
And he okayed me to send for adoption information from DHS.
And we talked to our girls about the pro's & con's.
And they were excited too, even after we shared the negatives with them.

Oh to have the heart of a child.
To be willing to be obedient to Father, even tho we realize there could be hardship
in the obedience.

But like our girls, we realize the blessings will far outweigh the hardship.

So here we are, 15.5 years into this marriage and the Lord has done a work in our lives
that I thought was no longer possible!

Thank you dear Jesus for being faithful to answer my prayers, even when I thought You'd answered "no"... I couldn't hear the whisper of "wait, dear child."




***********
Here's a Break down of what we understand so far:

• Step 1 - Pray
• Step 2 - Talk to your Spouse & Family & read a lot about adoption
• Step 3 - Contact DHS or your Adoption Agency
• Step 4 - Fill out a huge stack of paper work w/ lots of personal information
• Step 5 - Find references 
• Step 6 - Get Physicals
• Step 7 - Mail in paper work along w/ reference & physical information
• Step 8 - Wait  ** this is where we're at right now.  
• Step 9 - Home Study
• Step 10 - Attend Adoption Workshops
• Step 11 - Wait more
• Step 12 - things get fuzzy from here so I will get clarification during our Home Study which should be happening in 2-3 weeks.

***********

How you can pray for us right now:

Please pray for patience for our family.  Emma asks every day if we're getting her brother yet.

Also, pray for our son's safety & protection.  I find myself worrying about him as much as I worried about my girls when I was pregnant with each of them.  Also, for the Lord to provide the needed finances when we need them.  And lastly, pray for the Lord to be glorified through our journey. 

Thank you!

We're Adopting!